The Wasteland

Report on the Events at SITH
The Sky is Falling, or 'Live-streaming our fight against a Colossal Troll Zombie'

Well, looks like I’m probly gettin’ hitched. Met this cute little catfolk at SITH and we’ve been shakin’ up since.

Speakin o’ SITH, hoo-boy was that ever a wild ride. So, as you are no-doubt aware, Corellan’s Tears were as advertised. Fire rained from the sky and brought with it untold wealth. It also cracked a hole in the planetary defense grid that had rendered everyone on the planet incapable of even thinking about breaking orbit.

There’s a story in that. See, it turns out that there’s hundreds, probly thousands of souls trapped up there, unable to leave, and just as unable to come down. They’d been surviving the last 150 years on salvage and sheer luck. Their luck was running out, so they developed a crazy plan to crash their space-station, one of the very few ‘cities’ they had up in orbit.

They figured if they rigged it right, and controlled the fall, they could all survive. Miraculously, it worked. They crash-landed a few miles northeast of SITH right at the end of the festival. We showed up, because I tell you what, that massive meteor had ‘world ender’ written all over it at first glance. Figured we should at least try and stop it.

Turns out we didn’t need to worry about the station. Although the giant fucking shadow dragon that came screaming out the top was a worry. It damned-near killed us all. Did kill a couple of Charlie’s employees. Including Dee. Don’t worry too much. No funerals’re necessary. He had ‘Existence Insurance’ on all his employees, and a server-farm of their neural snapshots kept up to date, so they just forgot the last couple days, and got filled in on what killed ’em.

We finished off that dragon, with typical panache and flair, and then went to go find out what the hell just crashed into the wasteland. The rest you know. We helped ‘em get back on their feet, and they joined us wholeheartedly. They’re helping us develop a space program, while we help them adjust to life on the surface.

Meanwhile, Tokhat’s been quiet. Too quiet if ya ask me. I’m thinkin’ he’s plottin’ somethin’ and I’m thinkin’ it’g gonna bite us in the arse. The Dust Eaters agree, but they gotta go deal with somethin’ else that may just be as important.

So it turns out that a couple-few folks from Solus One (that’s the name of the new city) are from WAY far away. There’s this blonde lady, and some smug hoity-toity, ‘Inquisitor’ or somesuch that say they have some lost super-soldiers or somethin’ on the planet. They think they might be at the bottom of the Great Lake. So we’ve organized a flotilla, and Gizmo put a sub together to go check it out.

These guys are supposed to be on par with one of our Heavy Gears or better. At least that’s what these people swear. Also, if we help ‘em get these fellas off ice, then they’ll bring the whole city to fight, not just support us logistically. Plus, Justice’s family wants us to do it, too, and we’ve learned to trust that Warforged’s judgement.

Worry not, though, The League is not going to go unrepresented here in Boombox, I’m stayin’ behind to oversee the war effort, and the Dust Eaters won’t be more than twenty minutes away should anything serious happen.

The Tokhat War
Report to the Golden City on the current progress of the war with Tokhat, God-emperor of the Empire of Tokhat: Gawdammit I hate writing these things… Alright, so as ya all know we been busy. The war’s been hoppin’ and poppin’ but fer now, things are quiet. We’ve managed to roll that green bastard (I assume he’s green, guess he could be pink fer all I know, haven’t seen the hobber bastard meself. No one has.) right back where he came from. Them Holy Dragons and the Mech pilots made quick work of the armies he sent. Still, we think he’s probly gonna try again.

No worries on that front, though. We made friends with a dwarven city, A DWARVEN CITY! I just about peed meself with glee! They got this crazy palce on the edge of this big salt-flat and they have walking cities up there. Well, they offered to join our cause, on account of their getting their asses handed to ‘em regularly by Tokhat’s thugs, too. We been swapping tech, and them and the Vinci’s are getting along famously.

Right this moment we’re at this SITH thing. Some kinda big festival in the desert. Don’t worry yer heads none, we’re here because Justice has some ‘family’ there and needs to talk to ’em. Also seems like something might be up here.

A lot of the folks are talking about this ‘tears of Corellan’ prophecy, or somesuch. It’s supposed to ‘rain fire, and riches’ the likes of which we’ve never seen. Don’t know much about that, but then most of ‘em are on a LOT of different kinds of drugs, at least half of which are hallucinogens. They could all just be talkin’ out their asses.

There’s been some kinda trouble involving one of Justice’s ‘siblings’ Caveat, and we’re going to try an fix it.

Tell ya’all more when I know it

Weekly Update From Dwosun Ur-Jack - Week 1
Dispatch from Caravan Master Dack to The League of Progressiveswosun Ur-J

To The League,

Ancestors’ Hairy Balls!
The week we’ve had! I mean, it’s not like there weren’t some good bits, but damn if they wasn’t interspersed with a heavy dosin’ of Shit, shit, and more shit! (pardon the language).

Anyway, things started out nice enough, two whole days of nuthin’ but blue skies (well, grey, actually, kinda colorless, but clear!) an’ smooth ridin’ bumpy roads notwithstandin’. Our third day out, and really the first day in the Wastelands we were settin’ out to explore and wouldn’t ya know it? WE get hit by frakkin’ Raiders!

Them sumbitches came tearin’ in on us in junkers and on bikes whoopin’ and hollerin’ like idjuts and generally firing in every direction with almost no sense. We took care of ‘em right quick with a couple grenades and some well-placed shots. Oh and that Cat-man walloped one with the five-ton! Don’ worry none, she’s fine. Heh…. But the raider he hit sure ain’t.

Giz got one too, damnedest thing I ever saw. He popped his emergency and flipped that truck around at full speed, and somehow managed to play out his tow-cable. Hit the bike comin’ up on him like a wrecking ball and sent that bastard flying in six diff’r’nt directions!

We called it a day after the scuffle, and salvaged what we could from the raiders, mostly bullets and spare parts, nuthin’ much interstin’.

Camp that night we got hit by ghouls. Frakkin’ sumbitches! Dern things came tearin’ out of the dark and hit us with our pants down. Swarmed us. Our Bard, Johann, the Fanger, he woulda got his ass kilt if it weren’t fer Kit. That wily fox-man hit a group of ‘em with a grenade that near ta did ’em in, and leapt a rock to swipe one’s hand off afore it could tear out Johann’s throat. Never seen someone swing a vibe like that ’fore.

The whole thing only lasted a couple minutes and then we went t’ sleep. Rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Same for the next day. We made good progress, explorin’ our way up the old mainline Highway running north through the wasteland, figgerin’ havin’ that baseline’d be a good place to start from.

Next night was all uneventful like, too, but that was a damn ruse. We get up in the morning to the worst surprise ever. Sweets had gone insane and was tryin’ ta eat Yang! Like right in the cab of the damn Fueler!

Luckily she bailed out and started whuppin’ on that sumbitch, and a couple others joined in. Most of us just stood in dumb shock, some, Giz I think, was screamin’ for the fightin’ to stop so we could figger out what the hell was goin’ on, but that damn sweets wasn’t havin’ none of it. Tore a nice chunk right outta Yang’s neck!

That’s when Kip and Yang took the gloves off and blasted him good. Damnedest and most horrifying thing I ever saw. He screamed and it weren’t no human scream. Like some kinda deranged animal. And his blood was black as tar, but with a kinda blue milky shine to it.


We all freaked the hell out, thinkin’ it was ghoul fever, that Sweets had maybe got bit when we didn’t see or somethin’. Then the damn thing died, from one of the shots, or from L’sar’s claws, not sure which.

It curled up and kinda deflated. That’s when we realized it weren’t no damn Sweets. It was a damn Grey! Those Doppler bastards! Kip identified it, from the blood and the body, once we weren’t all freakin’ out on account of the thing wearin’ Sweets’ face and tryin’ to kill someone.

We did some searchin’ and found some tracks. The Gang, as I’ve taken to callin’ ‘em now. Giz, Yang, Kit, and L’sar headed off, followin’ them tracks, determined to find Sweets or avenge him. They told me they ran into a nest a’ mutant cannibals livin’ in some tunnels not far from where we camped.

Kit took a tumble down some pit-traps, and everyone got real banged up fighting something they called Mud Giants. They said they were some 9 feet tall and had claws as big as sickles. Them giants were with Mongrelmen, and they were all feedin’ off o’ anyone they could catch.

The gang killed ‘em all, and brought back Sweets. They hadn’t ate him yet. They also found a beat up and near-dead Giantkin tribal that had been huntin’ and fell into one of the sickos’ pit traps. We patched him up and took him in. He seems like a decent sort. Good hunter, quiet. Keeps to himself mostly.

We spent the rest of the day recuperatin’s and keepin’ watch while Doc patched up the Gang and our new recruit. Then we headed on down the road. We found two places where you can get fresh water out here, and I sent the locations back t’ y’all, so anyone followin’ on can use ‘em if they need to. One’s a spring!

About day five, we ran into another spot of trouble. Well, I use the term ‘trouble’ lightly. Or mebbe in jest. It was definitely trouble but at least half our own makin’. See as we got to the bend in the river we found an old bridge goin’ across, that was fine and intact miraculously, but the trouble was down by the water.

The Gang, well Yang, more to the point, spotted a Anky-lo-sar-us. Don’ know how ya spell it. Anyway some big damn lizard that Kit and doc both agreed was a dinosaur, with big-ass diamond shaped plates on it’s back and a spiked morning-star tail. There were three of ‘em, two adults and a baby. The Gang thought it would be great to go try some big-game huntin’ and get some tasty vittles. I agreed.

Boy was that a mistake. That daddy Anky-lo-whatsit spotted ‘em right off and charged faster than a truck! And with about the same effect. It ran poor Giz right down despite him poppin’ it in the flank with his hand-cannon and hit his truck so hard it flipped. The Gang went berserk, throwin’ everything they had at it! Bullets were just bouncin’ off it’s thick-ass hide. It took three grenades and a lucky heart-shot from Yang to bring that big old lizard down.

Then momma came and she was even angrier. But by that time they’d gotten an idea how to handle the big lunks and just ran her around in circles pepperin’ her with grenades and shots. Still managed to send L’sar and Yang flyin’ before droppin’.

Doc got down there right quick and found the Gang standing around the remnants of what looked like a dead Giz. Doc knew better, though,and scooped him up, shut up his split belly and popped his eye back in, then pumped him full of nutrients until Giz was able to start healin’ on his own.

Still took a good two days before he was fully himself again. Been a long time since I saw Giz that pale. But we got two Dinosaurs worth o’ meat and leather and them bony plates! We let the little ’un go. We reinforced the five-ton with some of the leather, and the Fueler with the plates. Good thing too.

Not a day’s ride out from there, just as we crossed the river we got chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. This one doc and Kit BOTH agreed on (there was some disagreement about the Ankylo-whatsits, Doc says they’re Stego-somethings) and it damn-near kilt us. Wrecked half our vehicles, running us down and attacking the trucks like they were animals it was tryin’ t’ eat! We figgered out that we could outrun it if we were careful, and eventually ran it to exhaustion and killed it. More meat. And you should see the TEETH this thing had!

After that we ran into a wall. Like a HUGE wall. Miles and miles long, stretchin’ from the river to the Ancients only know where. It completely blocked the road. L’sar and Kit and Yang went to check it out, but got tore up by a sentry gun. Kip did a disappearing act and managed to get to the pillbox on top with the gun and hack his way inside. He got the gun off and we stripped her out. Then we got the ‘gate’ in the wall open and were able to move on.

Next morning we got hit by micro-meteorites. Damn firebrands fallin’ from the sky! Doc’s weather sattelite picked ’em up in time for us to dive into our trucks for cover, but they rained hell on those poor things. Took us half a day to get road-worthy again, and we were still pretty beat up. Plus, we were damn-near outta fuel.

We coasted into a settlement some Halfling Caraveneers had told us about (we met them earlier, fergot ta mention them) Nice lot. Nomads. We traded stories. They said they were comin’ to try an’ trade with the fable Golden City. Oh boy are they gonna be surprised when they meet you guys!

Anyway, we got to the settlement they mentioned, barely. What a sight! It was these three giant mounds of salvage and a HUGE hole in the ground. It was run by rats that keep ants as pets. Damn strange but it works real well for ’em.

Best of all, this was a trade city! They had a whole system and everythin’! I got a more detailed report on that for ye comin’ from Doc. Should be ready tomorrow. Anyway, they’re real civilized, but diff’r’nt. All Matriarchal so Doc says. Whatever that means. There were plenty of men rats, i saw. Best of all, they got loads and loads of Gas! Methane! They MINE it from that huge hole in the ground, and they grow diesel!

We got filled up, rubbed elbows with the locals, celebrated our first successful week and made a new friend!. There was this guy there, some feller named Lucas Strife that’s like a wizard or somethin’. Calls himself an ‘Arcanist’ whatever that means. But he’s damn good with gadgets. I saw what he did for L’sar.

And he ‘might’ have heard us talkin’ about some ancient road Yang FEROGT TA TELL US ABOUT FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS!

He told us about this secret mine that may or may not exist. He said he’d like to sign on with us, and I figgered it was worth havin’ someone that knew a little magic. Plus he knew the area better than most of us, and was friendly with the locals.

I gave him a provisional commission in the League, pending approval by you all, yadda yadda. He don’t care. He’s just happy to have someone to talk to about his gizmos and gewgaws and will work for a share in what we find, which is fine by me.

Tell you what though, we’d be stupid not to recruit this fella, he’s got balls and smarts. And like I said, he’s some kinda wizard. He can make stuff that even I’m scratchin’ my head about. Knows his way around a smith!

We’re heading out tomorrow, back south toward the wall to do some more scouting in that area, then to that road I think. Will update you next week.

Transcribed as Spoken

Dwosun Ur-Jack.

Dispatch from Caravan Master Dwosun Ur-Jack to The League of Progressives
Master List for Northbound Surveying Mission "Dust Eaters"

To the League,

List is as Follows:


  • Doc Savage – Android male, Chief Medical Officer
  • Bocephus aka “Hank” – Dog, male Driver/Walking Boss
  • L’sar – Catfolk male, Interrogator/Guard
  • Gizmo – Trollkin male, Mechanic/Engineer
  • Beaky – Tengu male, Cook
  • Sweets – Human male, Driver/Fuel Specialist
  • Yang – Human female, Guard/Scout
  • Darkwing – Tengu male Gunslinger/Scout
  • Kit – Kitsune male Fighter Extraordinaire


  • 1 Modified half-truck “Dwosun’s Smithy” (basic half-truck frame/drive-train with Exploration Pattern workshop module) Personally-owned vehicle of Dwosun
  • 1 Doc-in-a-box (Modified W.A.G.O.N. class All-terrain vehicle with Full triage and surgical components)
  • 1 Meatwagon (Standard-pattern all-terrain food-truck)
  • 1 Fuel Tanker (Standard-pattern multi-fuel H.E.A.V.Y. class truck with Fuel containment and dispersal modules installed.)
  • 1 Five-ton (Standard-pattern S.U.P.P.L.Y. truck)
  • 1 Modified half-truck ( basic half-truck frame/drive-train with S.A.V.I.O.R. Pattern winch and tow-arm system) Personally-owned vehicle belonging to Gizmo
  • 1 Dirt-bike (Standard-model S.C.O.U.T. Pattern All-terrain Motorcycle) Personally-owned vehicle of Yang

107 Total units of fuel

  • 100 units in Fuel Tanker
  • 07 units Disbersed to all vehicles.


  • 100 total units Asst’d Rations Loc: Five-Ton
  • 2 units asst’d Repair Goods Loc: Dwosun’s Smithy

One note to ye guys up there in the bean-countin’ division. Ye got me six trucks and FIVE drivers! Get me another daggum driver! I can’t leave this station till I get one! Ya MORONS, how you gonna overlook sumthin’ that OBVIOUS! – transcribed as spoken

Dwosun Ur-Jack, Caravan Master


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